Day 3

Yesterday went alright. It was quite busy and was scheduled for lunch with my aunt. I had an interesting medley for breakfast of cereal, fruit and some walnut bread and I had a powerful workout at the gym (meaning I felt strong.. not weak).

When I came back I made myself a protein shake and then showered. My aunt had wanted to go to this high protein "Knowfat" fast food place. It's funny because my aunt is a big woman (and she is well aware) so when we stepped into this place she said "I read a review for this place that said 'I don't know if it is just me but every time I come into this place it is either full of body builders and fat people'" We both got a laugh out of that.

I saw something when we were ordering. Her internal struggle with what to eat and over all anxiety. She seemed a lot like me and I actually felt at ease ordering. Her eyes kind of glazed over. but we ate and it was done.

The hardest part of the day for me is always planning what I will bring to work for dinner (especially if I am not hungry.. I tend to underestimate what I will want). After lunch I ran to a store (or rode my bike) to pick up a few toiletries and then I came back to get ready for work. There was a moment's hesitation and then I just threw something together.

I was really tired while at work. I think this past week has been emotionally draining. Anyways I ate the first half of my dinner on my ten minute break because I was hungry but by the time I was on my real break i didnt feel as hungry as i "should" have been. I literally choked down the rest of my dinner. The manner was disgusting really. Then I stood for a minute wondering if I should grab a treat from the pastry case. What happened to not hungry? I couldnt tell anymore.

The result was a very crampy stomachache. My stomach was (and still is) overloaded.. or overwhelmed. It is not used to such erratic feeding.

A normal person may come across this entry and be so confused. Or they just think I am crazy because no normal person should have such a hard time with food. I suppose.. but maybe this is just how I deal with the other hard things in life..


A woman my mom used to know came into work. She used to be the typical cheerleader's mom, nails done and hair done up nice. This is not the same woman. She wears dirty clothes and has a dirty face. Her hair is in a pony tail and she starts to tell me how she can put sugar in her coffee if she wants. Then she starts lecturing my coworker on sexual harrassment and how disgusting it is (my coworker is male). She tells me she will only have a good night if justice is served to her daughters, who have been taught to stick their boobs and their tongues out at her. I feel horrible for this woman but my manager starts to complain. "If I hear her lecture one more time I'm kicking her out of the store". I argue that this lady probably can't help it.. maybe she's schizophrenic. "I don't care, she's crazy"

This same manager also complained about an anorexic woman who comes in. "She's so skinny, she's nuts. Her husband is nuts too, for letting her be that way" . I try to explain this woman has a problem, she needs professional help. I say this on deaf ears. To my coworker crazy is as crazy does.