Today was a better day. For one thing I didn't go to the gym this morning. I am still sick and decided my body needed to rest. Unfortunately, however, I did not eat a solid lunch. My mom and I were to go shopping and right before I had a doppio with milk and some hummus with veggies and bread (at least it was a solid snack). my mom normally does not eat lunch on the weekends (she has a brunch of sorts.. maybe I should start doing a brunch, snack and a dinner?).

Anyways we went shopping and it went okay. I'm not a big shopper but I got a sweatshirt and we got to talk at least. I think for school I want some shirts and bras but I'm afraid to buy bras as I'm sure I will gain some weight (and thus boobage) and yet I say this every year. Maybe I should get some clothes that fit? I want to look nice this year. I think I will go to downtown crossing tomorrow or filene's basement.

After we visited my grandma and I had an anxiety attack. I was sick of sitting down and I think my blood sugars were low, though i didn't feel physically hungry. I walked down the street to whole foods.. I think the walk in itself calmed me (I was stressing about not having exercised).

When we arrived home my mom suggested going out to dinner. "I want japanese or thai".

Did that come out of my mouth? Usually for me it's, "i'll take care of myself" or "I'm not hungry". So we went out to thai. And I ordered a normal meal and, over a glass of wine, I told my parents a few things about my thoughts, my health status. Sometimes i wish I dont tell them things, as i feel as though it shows my weaknesses. I am only human, however.

I got anxiety when i came home. I tried to relax. I felt tired, I didnt want to move. I took the dog for a walk to try to feel better but it didnt help so I sat down to watch a movie. Why am I always so tired after eating a full meal? I didnt like it.

My best friend and I are going to martha's vineyard on monday and I am excited but nervous. I hope things go well.