Angry

I just got off of work and I am angry. and exhausted. and disgusted with myself.

So I was already really tired from work in general and I was kind of hungry. I ate my dinner on my ten and a really nice guy had brought my friend and I cake because it is our last week of work (he also hit on me and gave me his number but this is a different story, as he is 29 and married.. but very handsome). Anxiety hit.

my half didnt come until 8:30 and I was starving. I had a piece of cake with milk and some watermelon slices. I still felt hungry but I tried to ignore it.

My best friend, who has been avoiding me since MV, came into work with another one of my friends (to visit someone else). . when she realized I was working she acted all surprised. Then she informed me that they had gone to this restaurant that WE had planned to go to. I was like "what, no invite?" like all joking. "oh but you were working anyways..." SHE DIDNT KNOW I WAS WORKING!! I just wanted to scream or cry or punch something. WTF why does she treat me so poorly. I am so sick of it.

I guess I am over reacting but it is all of these little things adding up.

So then after work i had juice and I downed a big muffin (bran). I guess some people would say "good you need to gain weight" but I am sick of these sugars and these massive carb loads. I feel disgusting. I have work at 8 tomorrow and I just dont want to eat at all. Ever. adalkdjna;kdj;