It is interesting for me to see how I have changed over time.

Yesterday was an overall good day. I didn't do too much physical activity and tried to stay relaxed... and then dinner hit.

Let me begin by saying the dinner did not appeal to me at all. It was gross, unhealthy and I kind of freaked out. so I made a salad.. and just kept adding random stuff and was completely unsatisfied.

I felt weak. Dizzy. Was this hunger? I think I have targeted that feeling as being anxiety. I ate enough to not be dizzy after a meal. I walked down to the library to try to do some reading but instead, I thought more about the situation. Last year I would have thought "wow, why am I so hungry if I just ate.. my stomach aches". It isn't hunger (well.. maybe sometimes it was). For the most part my body was overanxious. I think an influx of cortisol caused me to think I should eat a lot because I was in starvation mode. But now I feel better. Things are going well.. and as soon as I figured this out last night my symptoms magically disappeared.

Today I ate a good solid breakfast. I felt really good.. and it kept me energized (though my lack of caffeine did leave me a little tired..). I went to lunch and ate what was served. And felt full. Maybe not entirely satisfied (I am still underweight and I think that has a lot to do with it) but I knew if I ate more I would be uncomfortable.

I am easing myself into this process of eating enough, not overexercising and convincing my body I will do the right thing. This is not an easy process.