I need to find some distraction. I am sick of this disorder consuming my life but, at the same time, I can't seem to let it go. The energy is building up in me and I am having a lot of trouble keeping with my meal plan "guidelines". In particular, I can't keep up with snacks. Every morning I have fought with myself about whether or not I should eat the toast too and while I do, it is not without agony. I need some suggestions. How do others make it through? I know I am to expect to feel bloated and I am to expect to not be hungry but it is against my nature to eat while not hungry. I feel like I need someone to just force this upon me.

As a result of my pent up energy/anxiety, I am stressing about the gym again. well, not really again as I never stopped stressing.

I need to remind myself that food is such a small scale in comparison to life and what i could be doing. One day is so minuscule. I need to do this, for my bones and for my health. I know I will be so much happier once I have come to a stable weight. Come onnn Katie.


Fall is here and it is getting colder. I can hardly believe that Thanksgiving is in exactly two weeks! I hope that I can enjoy the holiday without being too stressed out.

How does everyone else deal with stress during recovery? I need some suggestions.. some shout outs. I don't know if anyone reads this blog but I hope that if people do they may give me a few pointers.