struggle struggle struggle, some people just like to struggle

This week has been.. hectic and up and down. I won't go over the gorey details and it will suffice to say I really had trouble eating the first half of the week, I forced myself to eat the second half and today I just feel blah.

Last night I went to a lecture for one of my classes and initially I felt myself getting dizzy, zoning out. But I didn't feed into it.. I knew it was anxiety (I had just eaten dinner full of scary foods) and I tried to tone it down, which pretty much worked.

Another scary thing- I told my friend I would go out to dinner with her and her parents tonight (this always scares me.. I'm not sure why). There's no backing out, as reservations were made. Time to throw away my flakiness and get back on the boat.. then there's brunch with my mom and grandma tomorrow (ahh.. all this food related things). I'm trying not to obsess about exercise but I am obsessing a little. I guess its a good thing that I can admit this.

I made two appointments on wednesday: the nutritionist and the nurse practitioner.. Good times.


My mom went off her anxiety meds.. cold turkey. Since then she has complained of being "dizzy and anxious" (duh). I tried explaining to her that she should taper off her meds, not quit altogether. She changed the subject. I told her that she needs to recognize her anxiety and do something about it.. again she changed the subject. My mom is in complete denial about the fact that she has any type of problem and this really bothers me, to an extent. A) because she has seen her own mom struggle for so long and b) because she is taking these medications. .what does she think it's all in her head? I'm sure that is what she has been told in the past but she needs to recognize her issues. It also frustrates me because I have been working so hard to help my anxiety and eating disorder. Does she think this is all in my head? I'm sure..
I told her to get some exercise, how it helps. Of course, she thinks this is my ed speaking. She will never take me seriously about food or exercise. She doesnt realize that I know what to do, I just have an inability to do it right at the moment.

Then she preceded to tell me her doctor prescribed her bonine.. Why I asked? Oh because I'm dizzy, they think it's an inner ear problem..

Finally- I thought this was interesting: regarding doctors and their use of placebo



Honestly, doctors are such dumbasses sometimes. Way too quick to prescribe than to treat.